For disgraceful lovers or What hope means? (Pity's jazz)

Hoping and waiting
for you to break my heart.

There will be one sad and cold day

that i will lay in the couch

totally damaged inside,
because of some hurtful true that
throw into my face,
i will be shedding not just tears
(so if I can do it, because now i can't)
but also all good things that i could probably
feel starting by the day you definitely enter in my life.
One of the reasons of my drowning will be
(I am pretty sure about the others, also you'll know)
the heavy burden of the truths about my very own afflicted being that you spell over my fragile and wounded flesh.
You will be right, i will be not able to disagree, that i'm addicted to melancholy and pessimistic thoughts about love, life and future, that all of this have the potential to destroy any expectations of a decent and not so tragic existence for us or even for me - in case you not care about me and if i'm away of your life.

I really don't know what i'm talking about, i'm just filling the silence with some words that could probably really mean something to you - or me or whoever wants to understand what this fucked up mind represents.

Hoping and waiting for you
to break my heart
after the hard speech about how i'm destroying everything near our galaxy.
My black hole is consuming our oxygen and all that we have built yesterday and before, this need to stop!, you'll say.
Hoping and waiting for
to watch me sleep,
desireing to put a knife in my throath and give a finale to my life,
but you'll be too terrified to do such a great act for the humanity,
because you'll know at some point before our colapse that i'm your yang for your yin,
because you'll need me as much as i'll need you.
Even tough we are
in a sacred way to think
too bad for each other.

Hoping and waiting for you to enter in the room
where i lay crying
and wake me up
saying that you will not sorry for all those words you had thrown at my face,
but you'll say that you'll stay with me on condition that i agree to have my heart broken once in a while because we both know that this is life: broken, disgraceful, tearful and all the things that will make we insist on us.

I hope to meet you
as soon as i excpect and wait to you to feel the same,
but, as we all know,
there is not a way to predict exactly when this colision will happen.
We only can continue to collide in other lovers and
let them wreck us 
and just so find ourselves in some 
deep blue sea
and maybe
(just maybe)
find some strength to emerge 
to some warm and hopeful beach
with some love and hapinnes etc
for us to enjoy
the storm come and
bring us down over and over again.

Nenhum comentário:

Postar um comentário